If you're dull as a napkin, don't sigh;
Make your name as a "deep" sort of guy.
	You just have to crib, see,
	Any old book by Kripke
And publish in AAAI.

A hacker who studied ontology
Was famed for his sense of frivolity.
	When his program inferred
	That Clyde ISA Bird
He blamed -- not his code -- but zoology!

If your thesis is utter vacuous
Use first-order predicate calculus.
	With sufficient formality
	The sheerist banality
Will be hailed by the critics: "Miraculous!"

If your thesis is quite indefensible
Reach for semantics intensional.
	Your committee will stammer
	Over Montague grammer
Not admitting it's incomprehensible!